professional catamite and renowned pillow biter
Reblogged from sensualslavs  71,466 notes

stfusexists:

robot-heart-politics:

raptorific:tornadobeard:raptorific:tornadobeard:

Dan Sabato is one of those guys who can’t figure out why he doesn’t have any close friends who have his back on the regular.  

I actually do have a lot of close friends who have my back on the regular. Most of them are women, in fact. Funny thing, when you have someone else’s back, they tend to have yours too. 

Did you really have to bust this guy’s balls though?  You couldn’t just empathize with him? Or just not say anything?

I understand the point you were trying to get across but is a social forum, where everyone can see what he’s feeling, and then to post it on another forum, really the way to do it?  Seems like you may have just made his time a little more difficult than it needed to be.

Yes, I really had to “bust this guy’s balls.” He was expressing internalized misogyny and an attitude that vilifies women for things entirely beyond their control, and even if he doesn’t know this is what he’s doing, he needs to be called out. No, I couldn’t empathize with him, because he was being an asshole. I couldn’t “just not say anything” because then I’m abusing my privilege as much as he is. 

I’d have made his time more difficult than it needed to be had I not whited out his surname and blurred his image so it couldn’t be traced back to him. In fact, y’all don’t know if “Peter” is actually the name of the guy who posted this or if I put a generic first name so you couldn’t find him. I posted it on tumblr because I thought it was an important exchange for people to consider, and screencapping was easier than contextualizing it as a first-person narrative. 

What I really don’t appreciate, though, is the insinuation that even though my point is valid, I should just shut up about it (Ref: “Or just not say anything?”) in an attempt to spare his feelings (Ref: “Did you really have to bust this guy’s balls though?”) by not pointing out to him that he’s being a giant sexist. That line of thinking is the same one of people who think that being called sexist is just as bad as being the victim of sexism.

image

Dan Sabato, thanks for having OUR backs and not putting up with that friend zone noise. 

Reblogged from sensualslavs  31,192 notes

[I]magine what would happen if, instead of centering our beliefs about heterosexual sex around the idea that the man “penetrates” the woman, we were to say that the woman’s vagina “consumes” the man’s penis. This would create a very different set of connotations, as the woman would become the active initiator and the man would be the passive and receptive party. One can easily see how this could lead to men and masculinity being seen as dependent on, and existing for the benefit of, femaleness and femininity. Similarly, if we thought about the feminine traits of being verbally effusive and emotive not as signs of insecurity or dependence, but as bold acts of self-expression, then the masculine ideal of the “strong and silent” type might suddenly seem timid and insecure by comparison. By Julia Serano, Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity (“Putting the Feminine Back into Feminism,” pg 329)

Reblogged from sensualslavs  66,082 notes

For years, I opened my 11th-grade U.S. history classes by asking students, “What’s the name of that guy they say discovered America?” A few students might object to the word “discover,” but they all knew the fellow I was talking about. “Christopher Columbus!” several called out in unison.

“Right. So who did he find when he came here?” I asked. Usually, a few students would say, “Indians,” but I asked them to be specific: “Which nationality? What are their names?”

Silence.

In more than 30 years of teaching U.S. history and guest-teaching in others’ classes, I’ve never had a single student say, “Taínos.” How do we explain that? We all know the name of the man who came here from Europe, but none of us knows the name of the people who were here first—and there were hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of them. Why haven’t you heard of them?

This ignorance is an artifact of historical silencing—rendering invisible the lives and stories of entire peoples.

[…] In an interview with Barbara Miner, included in Rethinking Columbus, Suzan Shown Harjo of the Morning Star Institute, who is Creek and Cheyenne, said: “As Native American peoples in this red quarter of Mother Earth, we have no reason to celebrate an invasion that caused the demise of so many of our people, and is still causing destruction today.” After all, Columbus did not merely “discover,” he took over. He kidnapped Taínos, enslaved them—“Let us in the name of the Holy Trinity go on sending all the slaves that can be sold,” Columbus wrote—and “punished” them by ordering that their hands be cut off or that they be chased down by vicious attack dogs, if they failed to deliver the quota of gold that Columbus demanded. One eyewitness accompanying Columbus wrote that it “did them great damage, for a dog is the equal of 10 men against the Indians.”

Corporate textbooks and children’s biographies of Columbus included none of this and were filled with misinformation and distortion. But the deeper problem was the subtext of the Columbus story: it’s OK for big nations to bully small nations, for white people to dominate people of color, to celebrate the colonialists with no attention paid to the perspectives of the colonized, to view history solely from the standpoint of the winners. By

Bill Bigelow, Rethinking Columbus: Towards a True People’s History  (via professorpinka)

The context of these words is even more chilling:

This past January, almost exactly 20 years after its publication, Tucson schools banned the book I co-edited with Bob Peterson, Rethinking Columbus. It was one of a number of books adopted by Tucson’s celebrated Mexican American Studies program—a program long targeted by conservative Arizona politicians.Textbook depictions of Columbus are often filled with misinformation and distortion or are justified with references to manifest destiny. The bottom image is a woodcut by Theodor De Bry, in the 16th century, based on the writings of Bartolome de las Casas. (Photo collage: Zinn Education Project)

image

The school district sought to crush the Mexican American Studies program; our book itself was not the target, it just got caught in the crushing. Nonetheless, Tucson’s—and Arizona’s—attack on Mexican American Studies and Rethinking Columbus shares a common root: the attempt to silence stories that unsettle today’s unequal power arrangements.

the attempt to silence stories that unsettle today’s unequal power arrangements.
the attempt to silence stories that unsettle today’s unequal power arrangements.
the attempt to silence stories that unsettle today’s unequal power arrangements.

(via medievalpoc)

Reblogged from sensualslavs  251,974 notes

In San Francisco last year, a man stabbed a woman in the face and arm after she didn’t respond positively to his sexually harassing her on the street.

In Bradenton, Fla., a man shot a high school senior to death after she and her friends refused to perform oral sex at his request.

In Chicago, a scared 15-year-old was hit by a car and died after she tried escaping from harassers on a bus.

Again, in Chicago, a man grabbed a 19-year-old walking on a public thoroughfare, pulled her onto a gangway and assaulted her.

In Savannah, Georgia, a woman was walking alone at night and three men approached her. She ignored them, but they pushed her to the ground and sexually assaulted her.

In Manhattan, a 29-year-old pregnant woman was killed when men catcalling from a van drove onto the sidewalk and hit her and her friend.

Last week, a runner in California — a woman — was stopped and asked, by a strange man in a car, if she wanted a ride. When she declined he ran her over twice. By

Street Harassment: Is a Man Running Over a 14-Year Old Girl for Refusing Sex Serious Enough? | Soraya Chemaly

FUCK YOU if you think that street harassment is a “compliment” or “no big deal” or that it’s “irrational” of us to be afraid because “what’s actually gonna happen.” Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you some more.

This is terrorism.

(via brutereason)

Reblogged from iguanamouth  120,357 notes

iguanamouth:

i havent shaved my legs in a really long time and while i was babysitting my skirt edged up a bit and the seven year old i was watching said “ew you should shave that hairs not supposed to be there” and i said “well if its not supposed to be there then why does it grow there?” and he was silent for a long time and then finally said “lets watch sonic the hedgehog”

Reblogged from misandry-mermaid  4,289 notes

Of course, the ultimate moment of being Female in Public comes when a woman, deep in thought, is told by a strange man to SMILE. (And this happens only to women.) Gentlemen, let’s get this straight. There is no part of my body that belongs to you, not even my facial expression. By From a devastating essay from Laura Lippman, author, about what it’s like to be a woman in public.  (via emilyvgordon)

Reblogged from blackfeminism  5,100 notes
blackfeminism:

TRIGGER WARNING: INCEST






koreaunderground:














Screening for Woody Allen


















Today I’ve got no insights, revelations, or provocations. Today I am merely asking questions. The question I mainly want to ask is: How do we screen out Woody Allen? There are a few of us molested Korean adoptees who have come out of the shadows to speak about the traumatic consequences of latent yellow fever combined with the ability to adopt yellow.
Do these men KNOW they have yellow fever when they adopt? Is that why they choose Asian countries to adopt from?
Are these men pedophiles before they adopt?
What is it about these men that allows them to cross personal boundaries, morals, and ethics?
How is it these men are so infantile and self-absorbed they ultimately can not control their urges?
WHY WERE MY FATHER’S WHITE, BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN NOT MOLESTED, BUT I WAS?
My similarly abused Korean adoptee friends and I all share the above question. In addition to the exclusive attention, I was also treated differently in many other ways than my non-adopted siblings were:
As confidant – about relationship matters between my father and mother. (I was a child, for God’s sake – who didn’t need to know that information)
As a special prize – The man actually referred to me as his little concubine…(I can’t tell you how gross that feels)
As an equal (yet fictional) participant – and this is where it gets weird – most of us were not raped and most of us our abuse ended after puberty. But let me tell you – physical pain is nothing compared to having our minds twisted inside out, and molestation or rape or both – it’s still all about control. And the thing about incest is that it’s a captive audience, and in the adoptee’s case, a captured audience. In a private hell that lasts sometimes over a decade, from which the only escape is actual physical escape. And who’s entire family dynamics are permanently scarred long after the abuse ends.  Because incest is chronic.  Our fathers rationalized they were above rapists because they loved us. Not only did they have to relieve themselves, but they also wanted us to love it. And them. In a super natural way. It was some sick ego masturbation going on. And the greater the challenge or convoluted nature of it all, the more illicit and rewarding for them.
In their socially retarded fantasy world, what they were really hoping for was what Woody Allan got: a child bride. Not just any child bride. An ASIAN child bride. Because of the mystique of Asian women. Because we were so docile. (because we were scared shitless because we had to adjust to a new and foreign life. I am not making this up, that is how I felt but if you’d asked me at the time I would have told you how thankful I was to be adopted) Because they thought of us as if we were little geisha. This is my theory. I can only venture to guess, but they are educated guesses because I LIVED with the man fourteen+ years.
Did my father intentionally adopt me to molest me? Of course not.
Did my father think Asian women were alluring? The idea probably fascinated him.
Was my father sexually attracted to other children? Maybe.  Probably.
But did he cross the line with anyone else? No. Just the Asian adopted daughter. Because the adopted Asian daughter is both exotic, vulnerable and, most importantly, accessible.
And that social taboo against incest? Not quite so strong when the child is not your blood…
Did Woody Allen date Mia Farrow because she had adopted daughters, one of them Asian? Maybe…their presence certainly made Mia more interesting. Maybe they were more interesting than Mia. Maybe they became an obsession. Woody was lucky, (from my father’s perspective) in that he didn’t have complete and total access to Mia’s children and that he was ‘t technically married to Mia, so he was free to turn the fantasy into reality.
Think about it, and it’s a recipe for disaster:
Take one relationship frustrated, sexually frustrated, sensitive, self-absorbed immature man
Give him close proximity and access to his fantasy and curiosity about the exotic
Now make the fantasy helpless and under his care, so that his love for his adorable charge grows each day
Let the relationship grow over time until the child trusts and loves him.
The acceptance is confusing and feeds the man’s longings for love, exciting the man




















These men never take responsibility for their part in relationships – they are always the victim.  Their roles are often frustrated and they feel dis-empowered.  They seek out young friends/lovers that are weaker than themselves, because their lack of control over their own lives makes them feel impotent in some way.  Innocence turns them on.  It is my belief that the man who turns to his own children is often very weak in the social pecking order of male supremacy.
In addition, it is not just the infantalization and sexualization of Asian females, but also the feminization of Asian boys…who are also incest victims.
I also wanted to add that, off the record, a worker at an organization to help Korean adoptees in search of their birth families estimated that it was their experience that approximately 50% of the adoptees they had encountered had suffered abuse at the hands of their adoptive parents.  These personal anecdotes were not something initially revealed or revealed on paper. There have been 76,646 adoptees who have returned to search for their families.  Given those figures, the unofficial count of abused adoptees could be staggering.

blackfeminism:

TRIGGER WARNING: INCEST

Screening for Woody Allen

Today I’ve got no insights, revelations, or provocations. Today I am merely asking questions. The question I mainly want to ask is: How do we screen out Woody Allen? There are a few of us molested Korean adoptees who have come out of the shadows to speak about the traumatic consequences of latent yellow fever combined with the ability to adopt yellow.

Do these men KNOW they have yellow fever when they adopt? Is that why they choose Asian countries to adopt from?

Are these men pedophiles before they adopt?

What is it about these men that allows them to cross personal boundaries, morals, and ethics?

How is it these men are so infantile and self-absorbed they ultimately can not control their urges?

WHY WERE MY FATHER’S WHITE, BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN NOT MOLESTED, BUT I WAS?

My similarly abused Korean adoptee friends and I all share the above question. In addition to the exclusive attention, I was also treated differently in many other ways than my non-adopted siblings were:

As confidant – about relationship matters between my father and mother. (I was a child, for God’s sake – who didn’t need to know that information)

As a special prize – The man actually referred to me as his little concubine…(I can’t tell you how gross that feels)

As an equal (yet fictional) participant – and this is where it gets weird – most of us were not raped and most of us our abuse ended after puberty. But let me tell you – physical pain is nothing compared to having our minds twisted inside out, and molestation or rape or both – it’s still all about control. And the thing about incest is that it’s a captive audience, and in the adoptee’s case, a captured audience. In a private hell that lasts sometimes over a decade, from which the only escape is actual physical escape. And who’s entire family dynamics are permanently scarred long after the abuse ends.  Because incest is chronic.  Our fathers rationalized they were above rapists because they loved us. Not only did they have to relieve themselves, but they also wanted us to love it. And them. In a super natural way. It was some sick ego masturbation going on. And the greater the challenge or convoluted nature of it all, the more illicit and rewarding for them.

In their socially retarded fantasy world, what they were really hoping for was what Woody Allan got: a child bride. Not just any child bride. An ASIAN child bride. Because of the mystique of Asian women. Because we were so docile. (because we were scared shitless because we had to adjust to a new and foreign life. I am not making this up, that is how I felt but if you’d asked me at the time I would have told you how thankful I was to be adopted) Because they thought of us as if we were little geisha. This is my theory. I can only venture to guess, but they are educated guesses because I LIVED with the man fourteen+ years.

Did my father intentionally adopt me to molest me? Of course not.

Did my father think Asian women were alluring? The idea probably fascinated him.

Was my father sexually attracted to other children? Maybe.  Probably.

But did he cross the line with anyone else? No. Just the Asian adopted daughter. Because the adopted Asian daughter is both exotic, vulnerable and, most importantly, accessible.

And that social taboo against incest? Not quite so strong when the child is not your blood…

Did Woody Allen date Mia Farrow because she had adopted daughters, one of them Asian? Maybe…their presence certainly made Mia more interesting. Maybe they were more interesting than Mia. Maybe they became an obsession. Woody was lucky, (from my father’s perspective) in that he didn’t have complete and total access to Mia’s children and that he was ‘t technically married to Mia, so he was free to turn the fantasy into reality.

Think about it, and it’s a recipe for disaster:

Take one relationship frustrated, sexually frustrated, sensitive, self-absorbed immature man

Give him close proximity and access to his fantasy and curiosity about the exotic

Now make the fantasy helpless and under his care, so that his love for his adorable charge grows each day

Let the relationship grow over time until the child trusts and loves him.

The acceptance is confusing and feeds the man’s longings for love, exciting the man

These men never take responsibility for their part in relationships – they are always the victim.  Their roles are often frustrated and they feel dis-empowered.  They seek out young friends/lovers that are weaker than themselves, because their lack of control over their own lives makes them feel impotent in some way.  Innocence turns them on.  It is my belief that the man who turns to his own children is often very weak in the social pecking order of male supremacy.

In addition, it is not just the infantalization and sexualization of Asian females, but also the feminization of Asian boys…who are also incest victims.

I also wanted to add that, off the record, a worker at an organization to help Korean adoptees in search of their birth families estimated that it was their experience that approximately 50% of the adoptees they had encountered had suffered abuse at the hands of their adoptive parents.  These personal anecdotes were not something initially revealed or revealed on paper. There have been 76,646 adoptees who have returned to search for their families.  Given those figures, the unofficial count of abused adoptees could be staggering.

Reblogged from sensualslavs  51,749 notes

If guys were as mad about rape as they are duck face we wouldn’t have a rape culture problem. By

Jamie Kilstein  (via stuzie)

Other things most straight white guys get way more upset about than they do about rape:

  • Taylor Swift
  • the song “Call Me Maybe”
  • girls who date “douchebags”
  • basically any music that isn’t played by white dudes with guitars
  • girls who are “shallow” or “fake”
  • girls who wear too much make-up
  • girls who don’t wear enough make-up
  • fat girls
  • when people badmouth dark and gritty superhero films
  • sports
  • sports
  • sports
  • guns
  • fishing
  • hunting
  • vegetarianism
  • Justin Bieber
  • someone thinking that they’re gay
  • musicals

(via blossom-bamford)

  • women “hating” men
  • women hating men
  • women saying no
  • women saying yes
  • women being friends with them
  • women talking back to them
  • women dressing “slutty”
  • women having “too much sex”
  • women not putting out enough
  • women not paying for their dinner
  • women paying for their dinner
  • women getting abortions
  • women not getting abortions
  • women running for president
  • women posting pics of themselves online
  • women refusing to post pics of themselves online
  • women who are “special snow flakes”
  • women who just follow the herd
  • women who don’t give a fuck
  • women who give too many fucks
  • ugly women
  • pretty women
  • women talking
  • women refusing to talk
  • women entering their spaces
  • women avoiding their spaces
  • women “objectifying themselves”
  • women being human

(via iphisquandary)

And queers
They get really weird around non binary people.

(via veganthology)

—-another one that i hate the most is **women “bitching”

(via pedagogyofignorance)

Reblogged from sensualslavs  95,981 notes

Imagine you’re at a party. A guy offers you a drink. You say no. He says “Come on, one drink!” You say “no thanks.” Later, he brings you a soda. “I know you said you didn’t want a drink, but I was getting one for myself and you looked thirsty.” For you to refuse at this point makes you the asshole. He’s just being nice, right? Predators use the social contract and our own good hearts and fear of being rude against us. If you drink the drink, you’re teaching him that it just takes a little persistence on his part to overcome your “no.” If you say “Really, I appreciate it, but no thanks” and put the drink down and walk away from it, you’re the one who looks rude in that moment. But the fact is, you didn’t ask for the drink and you don’t want the drink and you don’t have to drink it just to make some guy feel validated. By The art of “no,” continued: Saying no when you’ve already said yes. (via watevacunt)